There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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