doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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