If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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