Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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