Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
