bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
