Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
