I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You can't just leave with hair like that
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
