so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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