I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
