is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
