i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
