i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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