Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
