he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
