the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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