Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
