He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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