This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
