In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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