I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
