You don't have asthma, your pregnant
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
