i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Blood and glitter go together right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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