Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
