Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
