I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
