thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my downstairs neighbor came by to say heβs having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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