Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
