a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
