tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
