Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
