So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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