grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
