If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
