Non-Jews are for practice
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
