If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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