I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
