She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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