I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
