You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
