id be glad to
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
