i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
