Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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