i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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