Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A+ Viking dick
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
