I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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