Having a random hookup so left but love u
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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