mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
