the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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