so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
