So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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