i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
