i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's the barista slut.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
