Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
