Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize