So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
