Don't you send me to vm
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
