yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
