yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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