Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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