i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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