New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
