I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
