how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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